«

»

Whyboy Spotlights: Candy Claus


This Christmas I feel it’s time to finally spotlight that epic trilogy of Christmas movies.

The trilogy that shook the very season to its core. The trilogy that just screams the Christmas spirit. That’s right. Candy Claus. Never heard of it? Me either, until it was requested of me by my good pal Alagatery to watch. This originally was gonna be a Cartoon Corner review but due to scheduling and time constraints Candy Claus was pushed back but you know this is the season of giving and I want to give you my take on the newest member of Santa’s family, Candy Claus, in full. Spoilers included. Prepare yourselves.

The story is your typical Christmas affair, one night a random family sits around wrapping presents when the little bland son asks, “Does Santa get any presents?” Well apart from all of those dumpsters worth of cookies his dad answers that Santa doesn’t get a present, which makes the bland son sad. This sparks the family to give Santa his very first present, two creepily Raggedy Ann and Andy look-a-like dolls.

Later that night Santa, lacking any sort of peripheral hearing or sight, misses the father sneaking on two presents onto his sleigh and before he can even get home an EVIL wizard named (and I am not making this up) “Oh-No” steals one of the dolls which of course Santa doesn’t notice. I just can’t believe they named their villain “Oh-No,” that’s like naming Jason Voorhees “Ouch!” Santa makes it back home to find his remaining present, the girl doll made by the family, and of course, after giving the doll a single hug the Christmas spirit/love brings the doll to life and Candy Claus is born. The rest of the movie Candy Claus is stalked by Oh-No who causes her to be outrageously clumsy (MUAHAHAHA!!! EVIL!) because Oh-No is jealous of Santa and his perfect “child,” seeing as the doll that he stole, which he names Shut-up, came to life but can’t move or talk very well because Oh-No doesn’t love him enough.

Ignoring the whole child abuse plot-line, we see Oh-No make Candy Claus unbearably klutzy causing all sorts of problems at the North Pole. So, all the elves decide to boot Candy Claus off the work force, without consulting Santa keep in mind that is a.k.a her dad. This is where she gets all-sad and what-not and dies.

Until she’s brought back to life with the power of WUV of Santa and everything is immediately all right again. HOORAY. You know? While watching this movie I have to admit Santa is a very neglectful parent, letting his apparent tornado of a daughter run around his workshop destroying everything and he never once intervened? I think that elves are jerks for not telling Santa they were planning to kick Candy out but Santa isn’t winning a prize in parenting either.


This is the smartest man in Santa Town, Must-Know a.k.a one of Gandalf’s hairy balls that grew legs.

Now first and foremost let’s talk about the animation studio because I personally want to know who did such a half-assed job like this and expected something great to come from this movie. The production company behind Candy Claus is Yoram Gross the people behind the Dottie series of cartoons. I personally have only seen glimpses of the Dottie cartoons so I can’t make any sort of reasonable critique on their style as a whole but if their style is similar to Candy Claus no wonder they are rarely talked about. Muted colors everywhere, recycled animation; slightly off lip-syncing is only a few blanket ways I can describe the half assed animation in this movie.


Beginning Of Movie


Mid-Point of Movie


End of Movie

Then there is the ending. Holy crap, the ending. These guys really had balls to make this sort of ending because it is quite honestly the most out of nowhere depressing endings ever. Santa makes Candy into his official Candy cane maker. She even gets her own little sleigh and everything when suddenly the all-knowing old man character of the movie… Must Know who proclaims that Candy has a brother, that Oh-No has kidnapped her brother and is brutally mistreating him, and that Oh-No runs off and can’t be tracked so her brother is lost forever. This ends with Candy crying promising to find him. Keep in mind all this is told to us in the last 3 minutes of the special. Also, keep in mind that after we here crying candy Claus weeping for her kidnapped brother the credits have the most gosh darn happiest song possible playing over it. Consistency of tone? Never heard of it.

That right there is basically could be the ending to a first act to a movie and I’m sure that’s what Yoram Gross were planning when originally developing this but nope they decided to go multiple part special and leave this unsatisfying open ending. This makes the audience cheated, as the REAL happy ending is next time. What? Didn’t like the fact we ended it on a crushingly sad note? Too bad! You have to get our next movie to get the resolution that you really want.

Now when watching the movie I could get the feeling that Yoram was trying to create a new mythos for Christmas, namely where do Candy canes come from? The answer in this movie being from Candy Claus after she along side Santa goes all over the world in her own little sleigh to put candy canes into all the little stockings of boys and girls who can actually afford Christmas. If that was the plan, it backfired completely and this isn’t because of the crappy ending, unoriginal names, or the lazy animation. This is solely because Candy is just an uninteresting character. For any sort of story the actions and choices of the main character must be the one’s that move the plot. If you don’t have that you will get a very insubstantial character to the story like Candy. She is just so gosh darn happy and cheerful, as she does nothing throughout the story, letting things happen to her rather then because of her and her choices. Candy’s inaction throughout the story robs us the chance to actually get to know her character. In storytelling the best way to show us what a character is all about is by showing us the choices they make in certain scenarios. Candy Claus has nothing to her. She just smiles, giggles, and looks good as a pitch for a line of dolls.

Simply put, Candy Claus “Part 1” is a shallow installment about a lazily and choppily animated girl that we don’t care about, that ends on a needlessly depressing note in hopes to make a sequel out of this property. Just stick with Frosty and Rudolph, they may not be the most deep of characters but at least the main characters of the movie are able to move their story along. Instead of being just a blunt and giggling story tool that sucks on Candy Canes.

Written By Taylor ‘Whyboy’ Wyatt

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to All From Cartoon Corner

About the author

Chozo Ninpo

Chozo Ninpo is a founding member of Channel Zero and one of the hosts of The Zero Level. He is the Project Manager for the Orlando Nerd Fest and an avid gamer, as well as a nerdcore rapper, a cosplayer, and the real life inspiration behind the FX cartoon "Chozen".